homothug, ayo i shoulda known sooner (c) nore
Does Larry Craig ride the A train?
a very peculiar thing happened to me on the way uptown* today. i was running late for the train* (as usual) thanks to trying to sort out a few last minute details that will affect the next month of my life, but thats normal. you gotta love show business.
at anyrate i am riding the train with small notebad in one hand, sidekick and scribbled up paper in another, sandwiched between god knows who and what. it seemed like a really normal morning. Then the train cleared at broadway nassau like it does every morning and i got my space, stretched out and really got to jotting. so around w4 an older white man, in a suit with a cap on gets on and sits a few seats down from me, diagonally. nothing appeared strange about the guy at all, just a regular white man being white on the way to his white collar job. i have this bad habit of making eye contact with everyone around me so when he came on i looked at him and went back to work. zoned out in my head combing over the fine details of this leap of faith.
but something odd happend when i looked at him. he bugged his eyes out and stuck the tip of his tongue out. i paid it no mind until it hit me in afterthought. i glanced back on some 'what the hell?' and when i looked at him he was staring me dead in the face doing it again.
O_O ... :P ... O_- ... :P ... O_O
if you can read internet morse code thats an accurate depiction of what he was doing. then it hit me, this guy is offering me some strange sexual encounter. the look on my face must have been priceless, i was frozen in time and stuck. i looked behind me like, that cant be directed at me. and sure enough it was. he then gives the universal head (no pun intended) gesture for 'follow me' (you knwo the lil neck jerk to the right or left) then stands up, walks to the door and continues his O_O ... :P ... O_- thing he was doin.
man listen, i just kinda got offended. im thinkin like 'what the hell man? why is he propositioning me? what am i doing to warrant this kinda solicitation? do i look like im on the stroll or something? wtf man?' im sittin there just mulling all this over in addition to the whole music business opportunity and i musta had the illest screwface ever. i looked away and looked back on some 'did that REALLY just happen?' and he was not lookin at me. he damn near pryed the doors open and ran off the train in embarrassment.
now i have been hit on by gay people before, it happens. and when you are as fucking awesome as i am you cant blame em? im unisexy and thats nothing to be ashamed of, i bet its a few of yall reading with healthy mancrushes on me right now and its not a big deal, i honestly appreciate the love (no homo). thats neither here nor there. its just that i have never been solicited before, ever. i mean did this guy not learn anything from his boy Larry Craig?
my life man, i swear...
* how many ways can i allude to work without saying it? lol
P.S. - this post has a theme song, click the here to hear it (huge shout out to pacific division)
P.P.S. - mark ecko you a fool for this one!
P.P.P.S - too big shoes, with ankle socks is an L.
if you can read internet morse code thats an accurate depiction of what he was doing. then it hit me, this guy is offering me some strange sexual encounter. the look on my face must have been priceless, i was frozen in time and stuck. i looked behind me like, that cant be directed at me. and sure enough it was. he then gives the universal head (no pun intended) gesture for 'follow me' (you knwo the lil neck jerk to the right or left) then stands up, walks to the door and continues his O_O ... :P ... O_- thing he was doin.
man listen, i just kinda got offended. im thinkin like 'what the hell man? why is he propositioning me? what am i doing to warrant this kinda solicitation? do i look like im on the stroll or something? wtf man?' im sittin there just mulling all this over in addition to the whole music business opportunity and i musta had the illest screwface ever. i looked away and looked back on some 'did that REALLY just happen?' and he was not lookin at me. he damn near pryed the doors open and ran off the train in embarrassment.
now i have been hit on by gay people before, it happens. and when you are as fucking awesome as i am you cant blame em? im unisexy and thats nothing to be ashamed of, i bet its a few of yall reading with healthy mancrushes on me right now and its not a big deal, i honestly appreciate the love (no homo). thats neither here nor there. its just that i have never been solicited before, ever. i mean did this guy not learn anything from his boy Larry Craig?
my life man, i swear...
* how many ways can i allude to work without saying it? lol
P.S. - this post has a theme song, click the here to hear it (huge shout out to pacific division)
P.P.S. - mark ecko you a fool for this one!
P.P.P.S - too big shoes, with ankle socks is an L.
and last but not least
DONT TASE ME BRO!!
im fucking dying over here..
DONT TASE ME BRO!!
im fucking dying over here..
19 comments:
i'm dying
hahaha i'm dying too
remind me to tell you the sweaty john wayne gacy on the A train story.
TELL ME! george remind me to tell you the story in person. shit if i wasnt in such a whirlwind id drop by tonight just to tell you, i think i may..
man tia it was probably the weirdest thing i have experienced in a while.
wtf?
this quite possibly could be the best blog i've ever continually read
it took a lot to not laugh at that in class
i mean what the hell man hahaha
that dude said HALP HALP LMAO
that shit has me dying laughing man. like what the fuck is on his bird man?
EeeeEeeeVERYBODY wants DONWILLAMS. Done said it before, and I'll say it again.
Sigh, what a burden. Such a weight to carry.
The cost of being a sexican.
Oh and being propositoned on the subway by some creepy old thing is just a rite of NYc passage. At least he didn't massage his package in front of you. UGH... Flashbacks.
apparently everyone has these subway stories? that would make an entertaining poast.
yeah i mean i guess its common. i never told the story about how the spanish woman slow dragged with me for 4 full stops. like laid her entire body into me an had her arm around me
its instanity here
id start taking the bus for a while...
*takes off business suit & white man mask*
*cries uncontrollably*
This is hilarious. You experienced the subway version of airport bathroom toe tapping. Creepy....but really funny at the same time.
this is the best...hahaha
dave...the bus ain't no better :/
I made a young boy a man in memory of you and this story today on the F.
hooooooo! my god.
i can't stop laughing.
it's times like these i really wish you'd gone vlog or vblog or whatever.
i wanna see facial expressions!!
there ARE no facial expressions with MR. Donwill
Just a whole lotta 0_0
(oh you hate me now)
YdS
that had to have been the best blog i read in a long time...
hilarious!!!!
if the bus isnt any better...
i think i would have to move so i can use a car...
by myself....ef a carpool!
http://iamfilthy.blogspot.com/2007/03/blog-post.html
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