Wednesday, September 19, 2007

homothug, ayo i shoulda known sooner (c) nore


Does Larry Craig ride the A train?

a very peculiar thing happened to me on the way uptown* today. i was running late for the train* (as usual) thanks to trying to sort out a few last minute details that will affect the next month of my life, but thats normal. you gotta love show business.

at anyrate i am riding the train with small notebad in one hand, sidekick and scribbled up paper in another, sandwiched between god knows who and what. it seemed like a really normal morning. Then the train cleared at broadway nassau like it does every morning and i got my space, stretched out and really got to jotting. so around w4 an older white man, in a suit with a cap on gets on and sits a few seats down from me, diagonally. nothing appeared strange about the guy at all, just a regular white man being white on the way to his white collar job. i have this bad habit of making eye contact with everyone around me so when he came on i looked at him and went back to work. zoned out in my head combing over the fine details of this leap of faith.

but something odd happend when i looked at him. he bugged his eyes out and stuck the tip of his tongue out. i paid it no mind until it hit me in afterthought. i glanced back on some 'what the hell?' and when i looked at him he was staring me dead in the face doing it again.

O_O ... :P ... O_- ... :P ... O_O

if you can read internet morse code thats an accurate depiction of what he was doing. then it hit me, this guy is offering me some strange sexual encounter. the look on my face must have been priceless, i was frozen in time and stuck. i looked behind me like, that cant be directed at me. and sure enough it was. he then gives the universal head (no pun intended) gesture for 'follow me' (you knwo the lil neck jerk to the right or left) then stands up, walks to the door and continues his O_O ... :P ... O_- thing he was doin.

man listen, i just kinda got offended. im thinkin like 'what the hell man? why is he propositioning me? what am i doing to warrant this kinda solicitation? do i look like im on the stroll or something? wtf man?' im sittin there just mulling all this over in addition to the whole music business opportunity and i musta had the illest screwface ever. i looked away and looked back on some 'did that REALLY just happen?' and he was not lookin at me. he damn near pryed the doors open and ran off the train in embarrassment.

now i have been hit on by gay people before, it happens. and when you are as fucking awesome as i am you cant blame em? im unisexy and thats nothing to be ashamed of, i bet its a few of yall reading with healthy mancrushes on me right now and its not a big deal, i honestly appreciate the love (no homo). thats neither here nor there. its just that i have never been solicited before, ever. i mean did this guy not learn anything from his boy Larry Craig?

my life man, i swear...

* how many ways can i allude to work without saying it? lol

P.S. - this post has a theme song, click the here to hear it (huge shout out to pacific division)

P.P.S. - mark ecko you a fool for this one!

P.P.P.S - too big shoes, with ankle socks is an L.

and last but not least
DONT TASE ME BRO!!

im fucking dying over here..



19 comments:

tia said...

i'm dying

Filthy said...

hahaha i'm dying too

remind me to tell you the sweaty john wayne gacy on the A train story.

Donald Williams said...

TELL ME! george remind me to tell you the story in person. shit if i wasnt in such a whirlwind id drop by tonight just to tell you, i think i may..

man tia it was probably the weirdest thing i have experienced in a while.

wtf?

Patrice said...

this quite possibly could be the best blog i've ever continually read

it took a lot to not laugh at that in class

i mean what the hell man hahaha

Patrice said...

that dude said HALP HALP LMAO

Donald Williams said...

that shit has me dying laughing man. like what the fuck is on his bird man?

Sandy said...

EeeeEeeeVERYBODY wants DONWILLAMS. Done said it before, and I'll say it again.

Sigh, what a burden. Such a weight to carry.

The cost of being a sexican.

Oh and being propositoned on the subway by some creepy old thing is just a rite of NYc passage. At least he didn't massage his package in front of you. UGH... Flashbacks.

Patrice said...

apparently everyone has these subway stories? that would make an entertaining poast.

Donald Williams said...

yeah i mean i guess its common. i never told the story about how the spanish woman slow dragged with me for 4 full stops. like laid her entire body into me an had her arm around me

its instanity here

thatdudedave said...

id start taking the bus for a while...

aeon? said...

*takes off business suit & white man mask*

*cries uncontrollably*

exclusivelyexclusive said...

This is hilarious. You experienced the subway version of airport bathroom toe tapping. Creepy....but really funny at the same time.

copper said...

this is the best...hahaha

dave...the bus ain't no better :/

Sandy said...

I made a young boy a man in memory of you and this story today on the F.

sophistiphunk said...

hooooooo! my god.
i can't stop laughing.
it's times like these i really wish you'd gone vlog or vblog or whatever.
i wanna see facial expressions!!

Anonymous said...

there ARE no facial expressions with MR. Donwill

Just a whole lotta 0_0

(oh you hate me now)

YdS

kcee said...

that had to have been the best blog i read in a long time...


hilarious!!!!

thatdudedave said...

if the bus isnt any better...
i think i would have to move so i can use a car...
by myself....ef a carpool!

Filthy said...

http://iamfilthy.blogspot.com/2007/03/blog-post.html