MC DAYJOB

life is not like tv

and no matter how much watching my favorite sitcoms break a smile across my face. once the allotted 30 minutes is up my life is largely unaffected. my mood may swing a lil more to the left or right but for the most part turk finally getting his YES answer or raymond getting let out of the doghouse does not equate to better distribution, an apartment or even absolve the error that *SHE* made last night.

i kinda do wish it was all like tv tho, lifes biggest crisis all figured out in under an hour and even the most mundane aspects seeming a little bit more important (that happens sometimes) but shit even to have a laugh track for those moments when you just need validation. or theme music, who doesnt want theme music? but i think the thing i envy most about tv and shows is that the characters always have the support of the cast. and when the credits are rolling us viewers essentially are on some born alone die alone shit. we just kinda fill our lives with ppl we think can do an adequate job of forgetting their lives in order to focus in and help guide us through ours and vice versa. shit even when you get older momma cant save you, its just you and your life and what ever god you subscribe to.

at the end of the day its entertaining and all it does is make me smile, but aint that what entertain meant?

this blog entry may sound depressing because well im not depressed but im not really happy and i noticed myself laughing at the tv like laughing thru the furrowed brow and 'fuck the world' thoughts. and i realized how much i rely on tv to change my mood or distract me from whats real.

im done, have a nice weekend.