Monday, October 08, 2007

ANTE UP!!! (c) M.O.P.

if you think squirrels are cute you are warped

oh yeah and i forgot to mention i think the squirrels in my neighborhood are trying to rob or kill me. for real. i live on the 3rd floor of a brownstone and there is a smal ledge outside my windows. i usually use my windowsill to make my sandwich on and as a makeshift counter when im 'cooking'

well one day i heard a shitload of scampering and it kinda startled me. turns out these punk ass niggas be all up on my sill man. lookin in my windows. they know all that stands between them and human food heaven is a thin screen since its normally too warm to close the windows.

my worst nightmare is that they will get in my apt while i sleep or am away at work and attack me leaving me with rabies. i mean there is a rip in my screen and that shit wasnt there when i moved in. i got a cat but i think jasmine may punk out around some brooklyn squirrels man. them dudes are hardbody son. like literally i had a staring match with one. i was walkin to the window to close it and he stood there INCHES away lookin like 'oh word? imma see you son, imma see you! dont leave you windows up nigga, its ON!'

not to mention that they are out there every morning. its been 2 weeks nowand i wake up to this madness. im thinkin of putting some poison out there but id have to go buy poison and then deal with a rotting carcass outside my windown that will probably attract a vulture or something. maybe even a hyena...

my life....

13 comments:

Sandy said...

YOU and your overactive imagination.

Chill out!

Jas got you covered. maybe.

Donald Williams said...

fam.. that nigga sat on my sill and watched intentlyas a made a sandwich

L

Sandy said...

NY squirrels are just waitng for the pesky humans to die off so they can run the city.

those suckas have no fear.

MANDY PANTS said...

if you really want to be disturbed, you should dig up this old song by this guy Dr. Demento. It's called "Squirrels".

Think Weird Al Yankovic does Beastie Boys' "Girls".

In your situation, it would give you nightmares. Shit, I'm not even scared of squirrels and the song disturbs me.

happy monday, donwill! Enjoy your day off if you have one for this completely pointless holiday.

Donald Williams said...

aint no holiday's mandy... im at work

L

amanda said...

well that sucks, doesn't it?

*loves GMU for giving me a 3 day weekend*

too bad I wasted my holiday. Doing nothing. Instead of working like a diligent young lady.

what is the world coming to when teachers get put on administrative leave for doing cheerleading routines during class? I wonder...

have a good non-holiday then, Donnywonny.

YEAH! I said Donnywonny. get over it.

Anonymous said...

donnywonny?

YdS

Angie said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! DYING laughing at the headline & then BAM, the squirrel picture!

Donald Williams said...

DEM SQUIRRELS YOU KNOW, AINT FRIENDLY! (c) lil fame

t-erica said...

The squirrels around von's way run up on you and do tricks for food like back flips and walkin' on two feet! Ever seen an all black squirrel?

they're all just rats with bushy tails.

Donald Williams said...

nah man those squirrels are WORSE. one literally followed me like blocking my path and was runnin up on me.

nyc has the WORST animals on earth

amanda said...

I saw two squirrels getting it on in a tree near my place once. Weird. There's nothing else they could have possibly doing. It had to be that. It was....a bit disturbing.

yatta said...

that was the funniest blog i have read in a long time!