Friday, November 24, 2006

i had 2 slices of cheesecake for breakfast and a glass of icewater. i also dvr'd sleepless in seattle today. its a really good movie i think im watching it now. i had to dvr it because my mom interupted me watching it in order to make me help her clean the garage with her. well spray for bugs. them cooky cave crickets i blogged about when i had my own apartment

it wasnt so much cleaning as it was reorganizing. all of my stuff is down there. boxes of books, art supplies and stuff. and a chair that has followed me from college. a big wooden chair that some asshole designed thinking it wouild be really cool and it wasnt as cool as they thought it was. i got it from goodwill in college. i gotg all my furniture from goodwill. i dont know why that particular chair followed me.

i have a strange sense of detachment from my things. i mean the stuff that i do have i like it around me but the stuff that i dont see. i dont miss so much. except for my shoes. i always miss my shoes regardless.

this blog is rambly. i was gonna write a short story about the chair and how its following me and refuses to leave me but is being thrust out of my life by my mother who wants it destroyed. or maybe oabout the life of the chair and how it must feel being bounced aroudn from place to place. it would suck to be in a garage unused and overdesigned, as oppposed to being sat on and loved. i also discovered that im was a lil asshole in college and high school. i recall covering my mothers ENTIRE garage in graffitti. practicing my throw ups nad tags and inviting friends over. as a homeowner now its safe to say i would kick my kids ASS for that shit. but she let me be me. weird huh? maybe she aint have the energy. she left one part of the garage and my room (which i ALSO covered in paint and markers, ASSHOLE) untouched. like my prized peices are still there. some character i bit from another artist i saw in the source and a bunch of 'eville' throw ups.

i also stole alot. all kinda weird shit. she threw out most of the street signs and steak knives i stole but she kept all of the traffic cones and the empty fire extinguisher i stole.

okay so this is getting too weird huh? i'll stop in a minute...

but the odd thing is i have this detachment but its like i miss so much this scenario. i come home from work. check my mailbox, unlock my door. sit my mail down and my keys on top of it. drop my bag on my chair, look at my plant, open my blinds. go to my kitchen maybe have a beer, maybe a snack. just eat something anbd realize i need to go to the grocery store. go back to my room, flop on the bed and turn the tv on but then realize i dont want to go to sleep so i get on my cpu and check email. maybe then go back in the living room and look at my books thinking 'why do i have these damn books, i aint gonna read em' ....

i could go on for hours. i need something thats mine tho again. my own place. but on my own terms. okay... ill stop now

2 comments:

filthy said...

"i could go on for hours. i need something thats mine tho again. my own place. but on my own terms. okay... ill stop now"

amen.

& said...

Preach!