Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Don't let the bedbugs bite...

Why was I awakened from my deep sleep and wonderful dream of a job interview at beaverton as a head designer by the feeling of something crawling on my neck. I swatted my neck and jumped up only to find a creepy crawly centipede lookin thing chillin in my bed.

I freaked the fuck out. After my signature rebel yell ( 'AAARGH!' ) I jumped up swatted him off the bed, killed him, went to kitchen and drank outta the jug, then stood by my bed for a few minutes debating not getting back in it. Since it was only 2 in the morning and I had long way to go til my alarm clock went off I settled on inspecting my bed and laying back down. I looked around and under the bed and then remade it bed in a frenzy of fear and confusion. Needless to say I was a bit shaken, but I wanted to go back to beaverton. Free nikes?! Sheeit even if it was a dream, dope.

On my way back to sleep between shivers and nervous swatting reflexes my mind drifted to homeless people dealing with the environment. I don't know if I could deal man. I'm not a bug kinda dude, like I LOVED playin outside as a kid but I hated bugs, they make me jumpy. All of them, I repeat ALL of them. Crickets, grasshoppers, bees, flies, butterflies, centipedes, ants, cicadas, them huge swarms of gnats that congregate in your path (or is that some country shit?) etc... They are fascinating, but I don't want them on me. Homeless ppl can't chose where they lay, hell it may be in an alley. Bugs galore, definitely not what's hot.

Now I've pondered homelessness a lot, self imposed or otherwise (don't ask) but I don't think I have ever factored bugs into the equation. Before I honestly thought of it in a sort of survivalist zen kinda way. No modern inconviences (except for the fact of not having any conveniences) no bills (no luxuries either) I mean I always thought it was bad and not the place to be but I am now officially terrified of being homeless.

I mean what if that thing was tryna crawl inside of my head and eat my brain? Or burrow itself inside my brain and remote control my body? The possibilites are limitless. I don't think I could deal with that battle on a daily basis...

*shivers*

I heard some statistic that said something like ppl consume around 40 bugs a year in their sleep, so I guess I just woke up mid meal.

Bon apetite

3 comments:

i-jakey said...

it wasn't one of these was it?

http://www.agf.gov.bc.ca/cropprot/tfipm/images/earwig.jpg

I've had roaches crawl across my head a couple times!

The Rapper With a Dayjob said...

fucking gross...

it wasnt one of those
but ive seen those before

i hate earwigs

amp.jones said...

holey moley. Here's a late comment batman... I thought I was the onlyone who knew that bug statistic.

11 spiders a year.

UGH!!!

{deathly afraid of spiders}

And the whole zen approach to homelessness... i feel ya. I've thought this before myslef. I won't be trading in my down comforter and running hot water anytime soon though.