Sunday, March 04, 2007

Blast from the past, 2004 to be exact. Here is an editorial i did for allhiphop:

Unwillingly Reeled In By COPS Crew by Donwill

My Saturday evenings have been lulled into repetition as of late. I typically wake up from a nap either to the end of Cheaters or the beginning of COPS. Both reality television programs garner pretty good ratings in the southern Ohio area by capitalizing on the guilt-ridden pleasures of voyeurism. While the Cheaters camera crew follows around jilted lovers and is rife with the hilarity of monogamy gone wrong, COPS takes a less comedic stance by pitting the viewer in the drivers seat of a police cruiser and taking them out for a night on patrol in the gritty streets of Any City, USA.

I've imagined how I would react to being the unsuspecting star of either show. I had found myself playing out a myriad of hypothetical situations, all of which end in me cursing out Cheaters host Joey Greico in reaction to my girlfriend confronting my mistress and I with a camera crew.

The hypothetical number of situations that could land me on COPS is significantly lower, thanks to my virtually spotless criminal record. The only imagined scenario I had on tap for COPS is getting my door knocked down in a failed attempt to apprehend some dangerous prey. After all, COPS would be the last television show that Cincinnati would invite into its precincts during a time when alleged race-based police slayings and the resulting riots are such nationwide news that they warranted a Stone Phillips hosted Dateline special, Right?


Recently the news ran a blurb about COPS being invited to film Cincinnati police to possibly shed the negative image they have unjustly earned. I'd filed this little tidbit of information away in my conversational fodder folder a while ago.
At 10:00 pm COPS rolls its credits, and I routinely begin to get dressed for my repetitious Saturday night out on the town. This particular Saturday I had not planned to do much so I just had on some jeans and a t-shirt, making it a lot easier to fit the stereotype.

I then hopped into my big white 'fits the description' 89 Chevrolet Caprice Classic and made my way over to my homeboy's house. After a game of pool and a heated argument about whether R. Kelly or Usher has had more Hot 100 hits, me and said homeboy decide to get out and see what's going on at the local bars and clubs.
Apparently in addition to the few drinks I saw my friend have, he had a few drinks before I got over to his house - which probably was why the argument was so heated - because he fell asleep roughly 10 minutes into the drive and stayed that way for the duration.

A side being slightly annoyed by the black and mild cigar that he fell asleep freaking* and spilled all over himself and my car, it was the same Saturday night I was used to having. Once we got to our destination, I assessed the situation and decided against dealing with dress codes and cover charges in favor of a more casual-wear friendly venue, and started to make my way to the other local hangout spot. That's when I noticed 'the boys' in my rearview.

Read the rest here

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

fitting the profile@?'s sucky ain't it?...but good writing and hella ironic that it was